Spill My Heart
By: spoiledsquish
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, do you honestly believe I would tear Fresley and B/A apart?
Author's Note: This is a non-happy B/A fic. I just got fired (the wording was ‘let go’, which is a pansy ass way of saying ‘You’re fired’, btw!) today from my job for no goddamned reason, so my writing is a little angry and bitter. Plus, I watched Ryan’s Fresley vid “Until The Day I Die”, so this fic is going to be sad as well. Don't expect a happy ending, because you aren't getting one!
Distribution: My site, Seductive Web, PPA, Enchanting Place, Fanfiction.net, WTTS, PFYL, TEF, Sempiternal Beloved...If you host my fics regularly, feel free. If you don’t, just ask and most likely you shall receive.
Summary: There’s only one way to bring Fred back to life. One other life hangs in the balance in order for that to happen. Question is, when that one person is your soulmate, can you really give them up? B/A.
Pairings: B/A, F/W.
Rating: R, just cuz.
Spoilers: A Hole In The World, Shells, and a tiny spoiler about ep 20. Totally AU after that.
Warning: Character Death.
~Los Angeles, 2004~
“I want my world back, Spike.” Illyria cried. “These humans…They have too much emotion. I can feel her trying to claw her way back to the surface, her memories invading my mind. I can’t stand it.”
“Love, I know it’s hard.” Spike told her. “I can’t kill you. None of us can.”
“Please, Spike.” Illyria pled. “I know that you have the power within you to make this right.”
“Look, pet…” Spike sighed. “I’ll see what I can do to relieve your pain. I’m not guaranteeing you anything. You’re not her, though. You’ll never be her, and we can never get her back. Whether you like it or not, you injected yourself into her body, so those memories--they’re a part of you.”
“I know.” She sighed. “If I could--”
“You can’t. That’s the point here.” Spike told her and walked away.
***
Buffy drove silently to Wolfram and Hart’s law offices in Rome. Giles had tried to talk her out of what she was about to do, but she refused.
She almost killed Andrew for telling Angel those lies about Dana, the Slayer that Angel had gone out of his way to help.
He’d said that she didn’t trust him.
Ha!
Stupid little geek. What the Hell did he know?!
Nothing.
He wanted her to be with Spike, as did practically everyone else.
Spike a good friend and all, but he was never what she wanted. He was just a cool body to make her forget about the only thing she ever wanted.
And as much as she wanted to be with Angel now, it was too late.
The damage was done, and it was up to her to put it right.
Things had to finally come to an end. The world was ending and she had to put a stop to it the best way she knew how.
She had to give up her soul.
***
“She wants out.” Spike snapped at Angel as he entered his office.
“Don’t you ever knock?!” Angel asked, obviously annoyed.
“No.” he smirked and then his expression turned serious. “Illyria…she wants out of Fred’s body permanently.”
“It can’t be done, though.” Wes spoke up. “We already had this conversation before.”
“She thinks it can.” Spike plopped down in a vacant chair. “I don’t think she’ll stop until she gets what she wants, albeit from us or some innocent bystander.”
“Willow’s still MIA?” Wesley asked.
“I dunno. None of them are returning my phone calls.” Angel shrugged.
“Not just you, mate.” Spike told him. “Got in touch with the Niblet myself. Hung up on me and said never to show my face again.”
“So, we’re screwed.” Gunn sighed.
“Basically.” Angel nodded.
“So, research then.” Spike spoke. “Can’t let the evil one kill the lot of innocents.”
The group broke up in search of all the books they could find relating to Illyria’s situation.
And Illyria smiled to herself.
She was finally back in power.
***
Buffy felt the evil in this place as she assembled the necessary herbs in the alley right next to Wolfram and Hart.
Evil was calling to her, wanting her to succumb to the darkness.
She would have none of it.
Her sacrifice would not go out like this.
Death had a specific plan for her and she would not let it go to waste.
She watched as the blue-ish portal opened and swallowed her whole.
***
Angel suddenly gasped out loud. Wesley stared at him in disbelief.
“You okay?” he asked his friend.
“No.” Angel shook his head vigorously. “Something’s wrong, Wesley. Terribly wrong. I felt something go through me.”
“What was it?” Gunn asked.
“Death.”
***
Buffy landed feet first on the cement sidewalk in front of L.A.’s Wolfram and Hart Branch.
She breathed in a breath of fresh air and sighed.
This would be the last time she would ever see the sun shining.
She wiped away a tear that had somehow fallen onto her face and sighed deeply.
She had braced herself for what was to come.
Her death.
***
(Buffy’s POV)
No one even tried to stop me as I entered Wolfram and Hart’s offices.
Did they not know who I was?
I was a major player, and not for their team…Well, not before Angel had taken over anyway.
My Angel.
Did he know I was here?
We always could sense each other. Could he sense me coming now?
No, I suppose not.
I don’t think any of them suspected I was here.
Boy, were they in for the surprise of a century.
***
(Illyria’s POV)
I sensed her here.
The woman who will put me out of this world, away from these humans.
I’ll never understand why a beautiful, vibrant woman would want to sacrifice herself so that someone else would be able to live.
She had power over all of them, especially the one they call Angel. He won’t be pleased.
Oh well, this will do.
***
Harmony didn’t even look up when Buffy approached her desk.
“Where’s Angel?” Buffy demanded.
“In there.” the vampire pointed to the direction of his office.
“Thanks, Harm.” Buffy scoffed. “You’ve really mastered the plan of sucking up to my boyfriend.”
Harmony’s eyes snapped up to the Slayer. She snarled at her.
“Cat got your tongue?” the blonde Slayer quirked. “It’s been real, Harm. I got a vampire to go see, a ritual that involves me as the sacrifice, the usual.”
“What?!” Harmony yelled. “You can’t go in there.”
“You, vampires. Did anyone ever tell you that you’re deeply stupid?’ Buffy asked. “Look, I could snap your neck before you even moved a muscle and you couldn’t stop me. But I won’t, because you’re one of the only friends Spike has left, whether he considers you that or not. Plus, he’s gonna need you to take care of him after I’m gone.”
“Where are you going?” Harmony asked.
“I’m dying, Harm. So, the million dollar question is, am I going up or down?” Buffy pointed in either direction.
Harmony never answered and Buffy turned around and left the girl standing in the middle of the hallway, a silent tear rolling down her face for one of the world’s most renowned champion.
Buffy sighed and placed her hand on the door handle. There was really no turning back now, was there?
She opened the door slowly and walked in, ready to face the doom and gloom that lay ahead of her.