Chapter 14: Whispers Of Salvation
Buffy slipped in quietly to the apartment, careful not to wake Fred or Wesley. She peeked slightly into their bedroom, careful not to wake either of them, should they be asleep.
What she saw was the brunette couple curled up in each other’s arms, their bodies intertwined, sleeping peacefully beside each other. Buffy smiled to herself, and for a brief moment her thoughts fluttered to Angel, but she quickly pushed those thoughts aside.
She closed their bedroom door once more, and tiptoed softly to her own room. She shut the door as silently as possible and almost had a heart attack.
There sitting on her bed, looking straight into her soul was the love of her life, her soul mate, her Angel…
And he had the angriest and pissed off look on his face to boot.
“Shit,” was all that Buffy could ground out before falling unconsciously to the ground.
***
Buffy wandered soundlessly through the graveyard. It had been slower than most nights, what with Angel being away and all. She turned around when she heard the tree branch fall, and came face to face with Faith.
“You’re not really here, are you?” Buffy asked her.
“No,” Faith remarked, shaking her head. “Just a figment in your mind right now. You know I’m not really here. I’m with Wood in Europe, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Buffy nodded. “What is this place?”
“My guess? Probably one of the many graveyards you used to patrol,” Faith noted, looking around. “This is YOUR dream, so the scenery comes from that thick headed skull of yours, B.”
“So, why am I dreaming?” Buffy inquired, as they continued to walk the cemetery grounds.
“My guess is that you’re trying to escape,” Faith shrugged. “You know what’s back out there, in the real world. He’s waiting for you. I’m sure he’s alerted Wesley and Fred right this now.”
“How do you know so much?” Buffy sighed.
“Damn, you must really have forgotten how this works, haven’t you?” Faith remarked. “I’m a part of you in this dream, Buffy. None of us here, right now, are real. There is a reason why you’ve come here, a reason that you need to sort out before you can go back. You and I, I believe, both know what that reason is.”
“What’s that?” Buffy asked her.
“You’re afraid,” Faith commented, stopping as they reached the headstone. “You’re not just afraid of commitment, like Spike told you earlier. You’re afraid of yourself. The thought of giving yourself over to someone so completely freaks you out. The reason why is because with all the other guys you’ve been with, you haven’t been able to. And with Angel, you did, and he left you. So, you shut everyone out, including every emotion you could possibly forgo in loving him. And even when the time came to possibly opening up your heart again to Angel, you clamped it shut and spat it out.”
“So, you’re saying I’m incapable of love?” Buffy wondered.
“I’m saying you were. And you will be, if you don’t choose to open up your heart again to the one man who was the only one granted access to it, B.” Faith explained. “I know it’s a lot to think about, but you have to make a choice here.”
“What if I can’t?” Buffy retorted.
“Do you really need me to answer that, B?” Faith stared at her. “You know the answer to that question. It’s staring you right in front of your face.
When Buffy looked back at Faith, she had already vanished into thin air. She crept closer to the tombstone, wanting to read what the inscription was. Suddenly, the moon shone on the tombstone, and Buffy read the inscription easily, her eyes glowing wide with shock. It read:
Buffy Anne Summers
1981-2004
Beloved Daughter and Sister, Hero and Forever Alone
Buffy slid back away from grave. This was how she ended up? Completely and utterly alone? No friends, no dashing white knight to save the day? THIS was all that she sacrificed?!
Hell *fucking* no!
“Faith?!” Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs. “You were right. How the fuck do I get out of here?”
“Listen to your heart.” a voice whispered. “Listen to your soul.”
And with that, Buffy Summers was pushed out of her subconscious and forced back into reality.
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